Cubs Quote of the Day

Today's Cubs quote comes from Hall of Famer Ryne Sandberg, during his induction speech, via a Phil Rogers ESPN.com column lobbying for Andre Dawson's HOF induction:

"No player in baseball history worked harder, suffered more or did it better than Andre Dawson. He's the best I've ever seen. I watched him win an MVP for a last-place team, and it was the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen in baseball. He did it the right way, the natural way, and he did it in the field and on the bases and in every way, and I hope he will stand up here some day."

Read Rogers' column here.

Evan's link of the week

I'm not sure if all the HTML will be right here, but I'm giving it a shot. I'll let Evan se it up:

Extremely nerdy, but fun!

check out the 1st link to learn about it, and then look at the 2nd one to see it in action... again and again.

be sure to listen for it in "Cars" It's in there!

I couldn't get the second link (a QuickTime mbovie) to work on my mom's Mac, but that may have something to do with the OS. Anyhow, the first link is a worth a read if you have the time, and a must for mvoei buffs.

And Evan works at Pixar, which is why he knows more abouts "Cars" than you. Also cause he's tall. Or something.

We're Number 8!

According to this list of the Top 10 Baby Names of 2005, Jack cheks in at No. 8, up from No. 14 in 2004.

Eat our dust Joshua and Andrew!

Best. Week. Ever.

My wonderful holiday vacation continued Wednesday evening as Jack posted a 103-degree fever while Kristie and I were doing some exciting shopping (diapers, cat food). Upon our return, we stripped him, sponge-bathed him and plugged him with Tylenol, bringing his body temp back below 99 and letting him sleep about 11 hours.

This morning, with the fever again above 100, we headed for the doctor's office (though not the regular one, since she's off until Tuesday). He had to undergo a strep test and bloodwork (both not very fun to administer to a 20-month-old pissed off kid).

The 15-minute strep test came back negative and his blood counts are all perfectly normal, so the Christmas journey to Libertyville will proceed as planned. If he still has a fever on Saturday we have to take him somewhere, but that'll be just as easy if not easier in Libertyville as it is in Clinton.

This time I think it's just a virus, and he's running around playing with his toys and acting perfectly happy. The fever has pretty much come under control, and whether that's the Tylenol or the infection just running its course is not really an issue, because we can keep him on the drugs as needed.

So anyhow, I may or may not have a chance/need to write anything until after the first of the year. So... have a fantastic New Year's weekend. And stay out of the freakin' hospital, because trust me -- it's just not any fun.

In this case, it is all about the journey

Column originally published Dec. 28, 2005

CLINTON — For those of you who have been paying rapt attention to my “Weekly Walking” feature that charts my progress toward a goal of 2.5 million steps this year, the following will come as no surprise:

I am a failure.

As I write this early Tuesday, I realize I’ll need some 285,712 steps by Saturday night to hit my goal. That’s more than 138 miles. For someone who’s been averaging just less than three miles a day all year and just a bit more than 2 miles a day all December, impossible isn’t a strong enough word.

Broken down even more, I’d need to average 57,142.4 steps per day from now until New Year’s Eve. Considering my previous one-day best is 16,545 (way back on Aug. 8), we’re pretty much looking at a lost cause.

On the upside, if I slip on some snow today and end up in traction, I’ll still be ahead of last year’s total, which was just a hair over 2.2 million (and I had an extra day last year, too). But, I’m only averaging about 130 steps more per day than I did in 2004, which isn’t all that great.

Continue reading "In this case, it is all about the journey."

Baby update

Jack's rash has pretty much cleared up. There was a small flare-up last night at his other great-grandmother's house (that's three great-grandmas in two days, a good argument for having kids early), but it didn't seem to be itchy and he slept very well last night.

He went to see the pediatrician this morning. She looked at him, wrote us a prescription for the allergy pens we can use to stab him in the leg if he has a hard time breathing and asked to see him in six weeks for bloodwork and a detailed allergy test. That'll be a fun day.

For now, he's sleeping soundly in his room. He's been in a great mood for the past couple of days, and we hope that continues tonight for Christmas at Kristie's mom (which he pretty much slept through yesterday).

Thanks for the good thoughts. I'm pretty sure we're pulling through here, though I'm very anxious to see what this allergy test tells us.

Merry Christmas

Hope everyone reading this has a wonderful Christmas day, and especially that you had a much better Christmas Eve than our family, as we spent a couple of hours in the local emergency room last night trying to get Jack's body settled down from what appeared to be an allergic reaction to a nut of some sort.

Never mind that he had peanut butter the day before and pretty much eats grown-up food without reservation. Last night at his great-grandmother's house he turned all red and then threw up in the car a few times on the way back to Clinton.

With both of his parents minds and hearts racing, we ran a few red lights and drove straight to the hospital where he screamed at the nurses and threw up a few more times. He had to leave in junior size scrubs because everything he owned was dirty. They'd given him some Benadryl in the emergency room and given us two doses of Prednisolone (in case the first didn't stay down). He had that at about 11:30 and, though he acted very tired, wanted nothing to do with his crib or being rocked.

So, we flipped on one of the TV stations showing a Christmas Eve service and got down on the floor. He rolled around and whimpered and kicked before finally passing out. So I slept on the floor with him all night and Kristie slept on the couch.

The good news is that at 7:30 a.m. he woke up, started talking and then climbed up on the couch and onto Kristie's head because he wanted the lights on our mantel plugged in. And then we had a normal Christmas morning (as long as you think it's normal for a child to rip a small piece of wrapping paper off a gift, then sprint to the kitchen to throw it away, then do it all over again until the present is open).

We're going to give him some more Benadryl in a few hours and his Prednisolone once a day through Wednesday. His cheeks aren't as bright red as they were last night (though he is pretty splotchy from head to toe) and breakfast has stayed in so far.

If Kristie and I can stop worrying about how fragile our little guy is, maybe we'll even enjoy this day a little. So far as we can tell, his reaction wasn't all that bad (he had no trouble breathing, which is a big problem with nut allergies), and he really seems to be 100 percent happy today. It's just hard to shake the image of a diaper-clad 20-month-old boy shrieking in discomfort on an emergency room bed at 11 p.m. on Christmas Eve. I think he'll be OK, but I don't need another scare like that ever again.

Cubs quote of the day

Ruz over at The Cub Reporter has this nugget in his long, thorough reflection on the Jacque Jones signing (italics and bold mine):

There is, of course, a big potential stumbling block to the idea of platooning Jones, and that is Dusty Baker. As Arizona Phil suggested, Jones might be the ideal Dusty guy: high energy, "good in the clubhouse," aggressive at the plate, over 30. It's entirely possible that Jones will be pencilled into the lineup every day, even when someone like Mark Mulder or Dontrelle Willis is on the mound. If so, then all this is for naught, but I hold out a modicum of blind faith that Dusty will do the right thing. Why, I don't know, but I do know that boundless reserves of blind faith are a prerequisite for being a Cubs fan.

Preach it, brother.

Too much free time

Got this excellent link to a bunch of pictures of intricately carved pencils from Derek of Sandbox fame (link at right).

Were I still giving out the "Scott T. Holland Too Much Free Time Seal of Approval" awards, this would be a certain winner. Here's a sample:

E-mail humor

From my ever-vigilant father, never too busy to pass up a good forward:

What happens when you:

1) have nothing to do

2) own a sharp knife

3) have a large lime

4) own a patient cat

5) drink too much tequila

6) and it's football season?

This:

Sometimes the issue is more than black and white

Column originally published Dec. 21, 2005

CLINTON — I used to think there were two kinds of people in Clinton, those who get it (agree with me) and those who don’t (oppose everything).

Over time, however, my perspective has changed. I’ve broadened my horizons and expanded the borders of my mind. Now I think there’s three types of people. Group A thinks the City Council is faultless, Group B think it’s corrupt and Group C thinks it’s just ineffective.

Of course, these are broad generalizations. I’m pretty sure no one — not even the council members — think the council is perfect. Likewise, the people in Group C (that’s me) don’t really believe the council is totally impotent, because it would be impossible to ignore the many good things that have been accomplished in recent years.

The hard-liners, though, are in Group B. Based on readers’ letters, anonymous phone calls and comments on our Web site, people in Group B think all seven council members (and the school board members and county supervisors, too) got elected simply to waste the taxpayers’ money.

You might be from Chicago if...

I got this list from a woman at work who also grew up somewhere in the suburbs. Not being a true city-dweller, I can't sign off on all of them. However, a great deal ring very, very true (especially Nos. 2, 3, 5, 6, 21 and 42, and those are just my favorites):

1. The "living room" is called the "front room."
2. You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do.
3. You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 1/2 hour away.
4. You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines."
5. You go to visit friends or family down south and laugh when they complain about the traffic.
6. You understand that no person from Chicago can be a Cub fan AND a White Sox fan.
7. It's "Kitty corner" not "Katty corner."
8. You know the difference between The Loop and Downtown
9. You eat your pizza in squares, not triangles, and you never refer to it as "pie"
10. You own celery salt
11. You understand that the primary is the official local election.
12. You have drunk green beer on St. Paddy's Day
13. Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.
14. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "Can I go with?"
15. Your idea of a great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun, "everything" is on it and a slice of dill pickle is on the side.
16. You carry jumper cables in your car.
17. You drink "pop."
18. You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.
19. You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy,Eisenhower,Dan Ryan, and the Edens
20. But you call the interstates "expressways."
21. You refer to anything south of I-80 as "Southern or Central Illinois."
22. You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake."
23. You refer to Chicago as "The City"
24. "The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in January 1986.
25. You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers.
26. You buy "The Trib" and not the Tribune.
27. You know that despite being on the lake, there is no such place as the Waterfront.
28. You think 45 degrees is great weather to wash your car.
29. You picnic or ride your bike in the "forest preserve"
30. You cried when Bozo was canceled on WGN.
31.You know what goes on a Chicago style hot dog.
32. You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.
33. You know why they call Chicago "The Windy City."
34. You understand what "lake-effect" means
35. You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at.
37. You have ridden the "L."
38. You think your next-door neighbor is a cousin to Tony Soprano.
39. You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708, 312, & 815.
40. You have at some time in your life, used your furniture or a friend's body to guard your parking spot in winter
41. You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a "side." Example: "West Side," "South Side" or "North Side."
42. You know the phone number to Empire Carpet!
43. You know what a garache-key is!

The haircut

Before...
During...
After...

Haircut

Yes, it happend.

Yes, we have pictures.

No, there was no death or blood, but...

Yes, there were tears. And

Yes, he still is our child, though I think now he's our little boy and no longer a baby.

I'll try to have pictures up by the end of the weekend (they have to get developed first).

Wise Words

Nuggets of wisdom from this week's Tuesday Morning Quarterback column:

Government officials who feel squeamish about speaking the words "Christmas tree" or allowing schoolteachers to say "Merry Christmas" are not only going overboard, they don't even understand that much of the trappings of Christmas are unrelated to religion.

These things said, it is equally ridiculous some commentators are proclaiming a "war on Christmas." Christmas is the most over-celebrated holiday in the history of the world! An entire month of the American year is given to Christmas celebration; far too much attention is paid to Christmas. This is true even for the religious aspect of the day -- theologically, Easter means 100 times more than Christmas. Check this Laurie Goodstein article on the fact that with Christmas falling on a Sunday this year, many churches won't hold services so as not to compete with the orgy of materialism. But then, the overwhelming majority of Western Christians studiously avoid Christ's many teachings against material possessions -- and most churches, for marketing reasons, steer clear of this topic too.

Read more from TMQ here.

Reader feedback in the 21st century

Column originally published Dec. 14, 2005

CLINTON — Did you see what Slick Mahoney said about Qbert?

Or did you catch the back-and-forth between Ferd, Tax Man and Radioguy?

Not if you haven’t been visiting the ClintonHerald.com discussion forums.

The forums have been up and running since the new version of the Herald’s Web site went online in mid-October. In recent weeks they’ve started to attract a good deal of activity.

The hot topics have been the format change at a local radio station and — big surprise here — how local governments spend tax dollars.

Continuie reading "Reader feedback in the 21st century"

Sad to see you go

I don't always get along with Cardinals fans, but I have a feeling one recently departed lady could have been a good friend of mine. Get a load of this sentence from her obituary in the Belleville (Ill.) News-Democrat:

Mrs. Eckert was a member of Zion United Church of Christ, Millstadt, Ill., Zion Women's Fellowship, VFW Post 7980 Ladies Auxiliary, Millstadt, Ill., an avid Wednesday night bingo player at VFW, when she was younger and playing softball she led the league in batting, she made several quilts, enjoyed cooking and baking and she was a big Cardinals fan, she was glad to see Ray King traded.

Right on, sister. Read the whole thing here.

Time Killer

How many band names can you see in the photo (click to enlarge in a new window). Allegedly there's 75. I might have to look real, real hard to get 20. Perhaps we should start a list in the comments section.

Life with Baby

I know it's been an awful long time since I wrote one of these, but, well, it's tough to do with him awake.

Jack is now more than 19 months old and, more importantly, asleep, which is allowing me the time to write this update.

He's been in rapid teething mode on and off for the last three months, including over Thanksgiving in Charlotte. I think that can be partially blamed for why he was awake until about 1:15 a.m. the night after Thanksgiving and drooling incessantly (see photo). What a wonderful evening that was.

As far as things he can do, it's getting to be a longer list, but no one's forcing you to read this stuff. He can:

■ Identify his hair, eyes, mouth, toes (piggies) and tummy. When asked where his nose is, he points to his ear and says eye.
■ Say the following words: Fishy, kitty, cheese, hot, uh-oh, Oh Boy, Mom, Da-Da and something that sounds like bottle if you know what you're listening for.
■ Respond to the question "How old are you" by holding up one finger.
■ Perform high fives, handshakes and fist bumps.
■ Open the drawer with the measuring spoons in it, find one he likes and use it to spoonfeed himself Cocoa-Roos out of a Winnie-the-Pooh bowl.
■ Drink from his own cup that has a built in straw.
■ Actually feed himself from a bottle until it gets to the point where the bottle has to be tipped up.
■ Run screaming from known evils, such as diaper changes, bed time and the dreaded winter coat.
■ Remove everything put anywhere near his head instantly, including hats and hoods designed to keep him from getting frostbitten ears.
■ Take my shoes when I'm trying to put them on, then run away giggling as if there's no funnier joke in all the world.
■ Open Kristie's clarinet case and put the bottom two pieces together and try to make sound.
■ Completely ignore wrapped Christmas presents under the tree.
■ Use a fork to feed himself most foods. He's partial to tube-shaped pasta.
■ Put himself to sleep on good days, going so far as to, on command, retrieve his blanket and teddy bear before cuddling up to pass out.
■ Climb into his own high chair and car seat.
■ Reminding us to refasten safety locks on the over and cabinet under the sink just in case we forget.
■ Pour water all over the bathroom during bath time.
■ Open Kristie's purse, remove the cell phone, flip it open, extend the antenna and put it to his ear before saying "Hi."

And that's just the things I can remember. He opens and shuts doors, flips on the oven light and generally does things that are either cute or frustrating, and sometimes both.

Right now he's dealing with what probably is strep throat (he would not submit to the test under any circumstances, so they just agreed to put him on amoxicillin, which he doesn't appear to be allergic to), but he's still generally in a pretty good mood. Kristie reported that this morning with Jack was spent dodging fists and/or projectiles as he's learning destructive ways of showing his anger over not getting what he wants. So very pleasant...

He is getting his hair cut one week from today by the same woman who cuts both Kristie's and my hair. She's been warned she may have to do the whole job with him shaking his head violently from side to side, but she has her own kids so it shouldn't be a total shock.

He's also proven to be very good with other kids near his age (he's pictured hanging out with my 11-month-old cousin Annie), including total strangers, such as the extended family we spent time with over Thanksgiving and the kids at the church nursery. Usually kids cry when they get dropped off at the nursery, Jack just dives into the toys. He cries when we go to pick him up.

Kristie has started doing some babysitting for a two-month-old son of one of my coworkers, and Jack is very interested in that little boy. He helps by getting diapers or blankets or pointing to the baby's bouncy seat when he fusses. On Monday when I was watching both, Jack (a bit overdue for his nap) just got up on the couch where I was feeding the baby, curled up next to me and passed out. Very handy.

All in all, he's still a pretty great kid. He was incredibly well-behaved on our plane trip, especially given how scared I was that he'd be a royal pain. He's very interested in everything adults do and still seems to get along with most everyone. Most people who like kids and know Jack have a lot of fun playing with him, especially when he gets into belly-laughing.

Overall, I think he's very much a happy, well-adjusted toddler. We're working on more talking and I'm sure potty-training is somewhere on the horizon. He connects well with not just Kristie and me but also his grandparents and aunts and uncles. He has his own likes dislikes and can, like me, border on obsessive compulsive in certain respects.

It's pretty fun watching him grow up, but challenging, too. I'm glad I have the opportunity.

Wildcat Update

No Web link to speak of, but fellow member of the LHS class of 1997 (and Higland Junior High School class of '93) Erik Johnson checks in via e-mail with this update:

I'm also married (been married about 4.5 years), no kids yet (within the next few years probably), and am a trial lawyer in Indianapolis doing business/commercial/civil work at a small boutique firm. Ended up in Indy because that's where my wife, Christine, was raised and has family.

So there you have it. Anyone who needs Erik's e-mail address can get it from me.

Any other relevant alumni information to be passed along? I think I've filled out the form at classmates.com but have never thought it worth the cash to pay for the upgraded membership.

Female or Shemale?

Thanks to Derek for this odd link.

D reports getting 15 of 16 right. I think I may have gotten 10 or 11.

NFI's good message takes a bad turn

Column originally published Dec. 7, 2005

CLINTON — I’ll admit it: I am a compulsive station changer.

When I’m driving, even if it’s the eight or so blocks from my house to work, if I can’t find a decent song or interesting talk on the radio I start pushing buttons until I get something I like. I feel a small bit of failure when I settle for something (such as Bachman-Tuner Overdrive’s “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet”) only to switch at the end of that song and catch the last precious seconds of a far superior tune (like “Good Times, Bad Times” by Led Zeppelin).

The simple point is that I do not sit and listen to radio commercials. So it was rather odd for me Sunday morning to be paying enough attention to hear something that angers me more as I continue to think about it.

The offender: The National Fatherhood Initiative.

Continue reading "NFI's good message takes a bad turn"

Sucks to be this guy

BRISBANE, Australia (AP) -- A bungling arsonist who allegedly tried three times to torch a hairdressing salon ended up setting himself ablaze, an Australian court heard Monday.

Shane Long was allegedly hired to set fire to the salon by neighboring shop owner Erich Alexander Sorger.

Prosecutor Kate Youngson told Brisbane District Court that Sorger, who has pleaded innocent to four arson charges, set fire to his TV repair shop in the east coast city of Brisbane in March 2004 and then hired Long to set fire to the hairdressing salon, in a possible attempt to throw police off the scent.

But Long, who allegedly was paid 400 Australian dollars ($300), proved to be a hapless arsonist, failing on three separate occasions to set the salon alight and ending up torching his own clothes with a petrol bomb, Youngson said. He was not injured.

Read the full account here.

Attention ex-Libertyvillians

Here is the latest on the Brainerd saga, courtesy of the Daily Herald:

Gaps remain, but the parties involved with the proposed transformation of the shuttered Brainerd building into a showcase civic center for Libertyville appear closer to an agreement.

“Neither one of us wants to see this thing rot on the corner,” said Pat Groody, representing Libertyville-Vernon Hills Area High School District 128, which owns the old high school, gym and grounds at 416 W. Park Ave.

“We really want to move this thing forward.”

Groody’s comments Wednesday came during a joint meeting with representatives of the Brainerd Preservation Committee, school board and village. The village had informally offered to buy the buildings and grounds for $1.1 million.

Groody, a school board member and head of the district’s property committee, proposed a 99-year lease for the buildings and parking lot, but not the adjoining athletic field.

The village would be responsible for interior and exterior maintenance, upkeep, utility costs and improvements, except for the athletic field.

Also part of the plan, the village would acquire two residential properties across the street from Libertyville High School for the district.

That land would be developed with athletic facilities, possibly tennis courts, to benefit the school and the village, Groody explained.

The proposal would allow for Brainerd to be renovated, potentially cost the village less and increase athletic space for both parties, he said.

Click the link for the full story.

Time Killer

I'll let Derek (of the The Sandbox, link at right) explain this link to you:

you need to view this with sound. it's work-environment-safe (has no nudity or anything).

I clicked, and he's right. It's worth your time to see how much someone else has burned off in this endeavor.

How big is this guy?

Seriously, just how big is the guy we took a picture of for the front of Thursday's newspaper? Or, how small is his garage? Clearly he must be up on ahill of some sort, and I think the snow is obscuring the extent of the grade of said hill, but the first eight or ten times I looked at this picture I could have sworn it was Photoshopped or taken in front of a green screen with the snowy background superimposed later.

You think I'm crazy, don't you?

Here's a tip

Apparently, the best way to shed the 10 pounds you put on by gorging yourself over Thanksgiving weekend is to fall ill on your return trip home and then not be too excited by food for a few days.

Next thing you know, the scale is your friend again.

That is, of course, until you eat half of a tuna casserole for lunch.

Next year won’t be any different from any other

Column originally published Nov. 30, 2005

DES MOINES — People credit Albert Einstein for defining insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, which is pretty profound given that there’s no indication he was ever a Cubs fan.

The only group of people seemingly more optimistic than Cubs fans during spring training are Iowa legislators in November and December.

This year, they promise, will be the one where petty partisan politics are set aside in the name of real progress. This year will be the one where legislators vote with conviction and not just two eyes turned to their re-election campaign. This year will be the one where pre-session optimism will carry on into May and everyone in Iowa will be better off for it.

Given the recent track records, it’s pretty clear the Cubs fans are the more sane of the two camps. At least we made it to October a few years ago. Most legislative optimism is washed away roughly 20 minutes after the opening gavel.

Continue reading "Next year won’t be any different from any other."

What a long, strange trip it'll be

Column originally published Nov. 23, 2005

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — This year, I’m thankful for… well, I’ll just be thankful if I’m alive Thursday to even ponder what I’m thankful for.

As many of you read this, I’ll be nearing the end of one of the longest days of my young life. The reason: An airplane trip to North Carolina with my wife and 19-month-old son. On one of the busiest travel weekends of the year. Through one of the busiest airports in the world. With my parents.

Lest you jump to conclusions about the necessity of the journey, allow me to explain that this trip isn’t about Thanksgiving, it’s about a family memorial service for my grandfather, who died in September.

And lest you jump to conclusions about my relationship with my parents, let me point out that I see them as an asset on this voyage, especially since they owe me from the time we flew to Florida for Christmas when my brother and sister were about the age Jack is now. Did I mention we only had three seats for five people?

Continue reading "What a long, strange trip it'll be"

Hoping to say I told you so...

And only because I've met him and bought into the hype after a 20-minute speech:

National Journal, a respected Washington weekly magazine covering politics and government, asked 101 members of Congress and 137 lobbyists, former government officials and other political insiders which politician has the greatest potential to become president in 20 years.

The answer: the 44-year-old freshman senator from Illinois.

Of the 89 Democrats who responded, 45 percent picked (Barack) Obama, the Senate’s only black member, National Journal reported in its Nov. 11 edition. The second choice was “don’t know,” at 13 percent.

Some sample anonymous comments from poll respondents: “He’s a laser in a room of lamps,” and “He has the charisma and steady leadership qualities to make it to the White House.”

Read more, courtesy of the Rockford Register-Star, here.

And, as a potentially useless side note, did you know that Illinois is home to the Senate's No. 2-ranking Democrat (Dick Durbin) and the Senator who has more seniority than only one ofhis counterparts (Obama)? Well, you do now.

Notice

Blog updates will likely be nil until at least this time next week. We're going to Charlotte for a memorial service for my grandfather and Thanksgiving. On a plane. With Jack.

Anyhow, for more on that, go to the paper's site tomorrow to read my column, if they choose to upload it. Failing that, I'll check back in next week.

Later.

Time killer

How fast can you type the alphabet? So far, my best is 5.297 seconds. Try it yourself here.

Annoyances, irritations, nettles, chafes and so on

Column originally published Nov., 16, 2005

CLINTON — Just in case you’re wondering, and I know you all are, here’s a list I’ve been keeping of my pet peeves:

• Delivery and service trucks that still have the old 319 area code painted on the side.

• Loaner cell phones that take six weeks to understand — about as long as it takes to get your real phone fixed.

• The week before and after a haircut.

• Toddlers who have so much fun throwing dirty clothes down the laundry chute they start rifling through drawers of clean clothes for ammunition.

Continue reading "Annoyances, irritations, nettles, chafes and so on."

Wise Words

OK, we don't work at the same place or anything, but I think this is a pretty universal theme amoung journalists:

Journalism is an imperfect art. I always think of it as liquid history; we're trying to write for history, but it's like that quiz show where you try to put as many things in your supermarket basket as you can in 30 seconds.
--New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, in an interview with the Austin Chronicle.

(Thanks to Eric Zorn for the link.)

Kohawk update

Want to know how long it takes to get from Cedar Rapids to Moorhead, Minn.? According to Mapquest, it's about 7 hours and 48 minutes. More than 500 miles.

We all know the Proclaimers would walk 500 miles, but would they drive that far to see Coe play a football playoff game? I guess we'll see when Coe takes on Concordia College. See Bryan Boettcher's take on the game here (he's the Coe Sports Information Director these days, for those of you who remember him just as the Sigma Nu who ran the NCAA basketball pool each spring). And, in the interest of fairness, here's the analysis from the Cobbers' SID, who also provided the handy graphic I posted/stole.

I realize this information isn't really pertinent to most of you (including the Coe grads, who probably didn't care too much about the football team when they were students), but I thought I should slap something up here between Thursday and next Wednesday. So this is what you get.

Wildcat Update

I played on and against a few Little League teams with this guy -- he was always one of my favorites, but I don't think I've seen him since I graduated in 1997.

Family. Honor. Pride. Dedication.

Four words that entered into Sgt. Severin Griffiths' decision to join the U.S. Army and serve in the Operation Iraqi Freedom War.

"This is the best decision I've ever made, said Griffiths, a 1998 Libertyville High School graduate and third generation co-owner of Griffiths Kwik Kopy Printing in Libertyville. "I have never been more proud. My grandfather (Kenneth Griffiths) was in the Army and I wanted to follow in his footsteps."

Griffiths' regiment - 2nd Armored Cavalry, 13 Bravo Field Artillery Unit - spent 11 months in Sadr City, northeast of Baghdad. He said his unit was fortunate to have lost only one soldier - because of heat exposure and not a direct result of the war.

Read more, from the Libertyville Review, here.

Wise Words

The ongoing Terrell Owens saga (if you don't know what I'm talking about, congratulations and save yourself the trouble of trying to find out) is the kind of fodder sports columnists love. And I'm already sick of it.

As far as I'm concerned, no one has summed it up any better than NFL.com's Gregg Easterbrook, who writes Tuesday Morning Quarterback. His thoughts:

The descent from team play to selfishness is what started the NBA's tumble from charmed sport to vanishing ratings. It is imperative the me-first virus, busily destroying the financial structure of pro basketball, not be allowed to catch on in the NFL.

Read his whole column from week 9 here.

It's too darn early for Christmas decorations

Column originally published Nov. 9, 2005

CLINTON — In the wake of last week’s pro-youth diatribe, Clinton auctioneer Ted Wilk told me he believed I might be an 80-year-old trapped in a young person’s body.

I told him he’s far from the first person to tell me that, and with good reason. Because I say things like this:

It’s Nov. 9, less than two full weeks before Thanksgiving, and I have already seen three Clinton homes with full Christmas light displays erected and operational. Quite frankly, in the world of the trivial, I can’t think of anything that makes me angrier.

Continue reading "It's too darn early for Christmas decorations"

Time Killer

Have time to waste? Try to figure out everything that's going on here.

Evan's quasi-link of the week

I say quasi, because the e-mail Evan sent had only a link to an e-mail address. Anyhow, the text was too good to pass up. Remember, Evan lives in San Fran (which, much like Chi-Town, is probably a term the locals abhor), so this probably just came by him naturally:

San Francisco 2005
Nov 14th - Dec 5th
Regular price $35
Sign up deadline Nov 9th

StreetWars is a 3 week long, 24/7, watergun assassination tournament that has already taken place in New York City, Vancouver, and is now coming to San Francisco.

At the start of the game you will receive a manila envelope containing the following:
• A picture of your intended target(s)
• The home address of your intended target(s)
• The work address of your intended target(s)
• The name of your intended target(s)
• Contact information of your intended target(s)

Upon receipt of these items, your (or your team's) mission is to find and kill (by way of water gun, water balloon or super soaker) your target(s).

You can hunt your target down any way you see fit; you can pose as a delivery person and jack them when they open the door, disguise yourself and take them out on the street, etc.

If you are successful in your assassination attempt, the person you killed will give you their envelope and the person they were supposed to kill becomes your new target. This continues until you work yourself through all the players and retrieve the envelope with your (or your team's) picture(s) and name(s). Then you win. Cash…but first live in fear.
• Find out more about our upcoming San Francisco Game
• Sign up for the San Francisco Game

Contact your Shadow Governement Official: liveinfear@streetwars.net.

---

I think I can safely say this kind of thing will never happen in Clinton.

Evan's link of the week

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Read more Random Chuck Norris Facts... such as this one:

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

...here.

Wise Words

I'm not saying I totally agree with this (although I probably do), but author Chuck Klosterman made this very interesting point in a column for ESPN.com today:

Everything is situational, and that reality informs how I interpret the world. At least within my mind, it seems as though any people who consciously and consistently perceive themselves as right-leaning or left-leaning are simply admitting that they don't want to think critically about complexity. It always strikes me as staunchly unsophisticated and mildly insane.

You can read the rest, which is mostly about sports, here.

Life with Baby

Ways to tell you have a toddler in the house, #167:

You come home from work, go to use the bathroom and find a Winnie the Pooh bowl full of strawberry rice puffs sitting on the toilet.

Classified information

You've got to love this ad that has been running in our classified section:

Part time computer geek wanted. Lazy, irresponsible geek needed for web work, graphics projects and general computer up keep. Ideal candidate must mumble about bandwidth, not listen well, and be late for work or unavailable when needed. Sense of humor required. Fax resume...

Seriously. Read that and more (not sure why you'd need to, of course) here.

For old time's sake

I decided that, just in case you all were too busy to go searching yourself for the photo of Jack in last year's Halloween costume, to do the dirty work for you and repost it.

See? Aren't I a doll?

Anyhow, one of the other things I really want to do with the site (at some point) is catch up on old photos of Jack from the summer, since I'm not sure I've posted anything since his birthday. And you all deserve to see what a cute kid he is before he inevitably gets to the awkward stage (I can't decide if I'd rather him have that now before he knows what's going on or later to maximize his youthful good looks. These are the things I think about).

Anyhow *(I start a lot of paragraphs that way) here's my son as poo. I mean Pooh. (Never gets old. And yes, I'm a moron.)

Where's your tummy?

There it is!

Climb ev'ry mountain

This is one of Jack's newer tricks. On the one hand, it's nice because we know he's hungry when he starts climbing into his high chair. On the other, there's the whole possibility of him cracking his melon on the kitchen floor. To clarify, that is not a good thing.

He also will attempt to climb into my car and into his car seat. This also is a nice change because usually he wants to do anything but get in the car (he loves being outside, which does not bode for a happy baby once it starts getting really cold). Since he thinks he's dong something, it's easier to get him in the car by making him think he has control.

I just wonder how long I can outsmart him.

Happy Halloween

Jack did not so much enjoy his lovingly homemade scarecrow costume this year, a far cry from last year's outing as poo... er, Winnie the Pooh (see the link at right to track down the old photo).

Young people have a right to their opinions

Column originally published Nov. 2, 2005

CLINTON — Warm up the dead horse, ‘cause I’m ready for a whoopin’.

As you may or, more likely, may not have noticed, municipal elections in Iowa are next Tuesday. If you live in Clinton, this fact means absolutely nothing since there are no contested elections for all four available City Council seats, meaning if the candidates merely vote for themselves they’re virtually assured election.

I addressed this topic at the end of September and will do so again today, with the same caveat: My frustration here is not meant as a personal indictment of any of the current council members. It’s not their fault no one else is running.

Anyhow, after that column ran, I receive two direct responses. One was from someone my age who expressed happiness that I’d voiced what he’d long believed. The other was from an e-mailer who’d lived in Clinton for 20 years but moved away. And here, more or less (I cleaned up the spelling) is what he wrote:

“I would never vote, or tell anyone else to vote, for anyone under the age of 40. Young people are easily controlled by the ruling elite and are impressed with authority. I would strongly advise you to never look to anyone young for anything except compliance to conformity. ...

Continue reading "Young people have a right to their opinions."

Rude but hilarious

All right, you may not appreciate the language, but the video is pretty funny nonetheless. Click here. And turn your speakers down if you're viewing this at work.

Who loves ya baby?

I know Ozzie Guillen says he loves his players... but does anyone think his relationship with Tadahito Iguchi may be a little too personal?

Baseball, in its glory

As a fan of baseball and a writer (who is also a fan of baseball writing), I can't help but appreciate the Julia Keller piece in today's Tribune, despite the fact that she was motivated to put pen to paper by a White Sox World Series sweep. (But hey, the Astros are devastated and I couldn't be happier).

Here's a sample:

Baseball is played in the summer but ends in the autumn, when the light starts to fail and kids are called inside early, taken reluctantly from their games in vacant lots and dead-end streets. The moments are precious because they perish. The joy is special because it's temporary. "Death is the mother of beauty," wrote Wallace Stevens. What makes today so amazing—the first full day after the Sox victory—is that it is unique in the history of the world. And will remain so. Cherish it, because it is moving steadily out of your reach.

Read it all here.

Hugh Gallagher's 'College Essay'

OK, so I'm getting my weeks this week from The Sport's Guy's intern. But seriously, how can you pass up something like this maybe/maybe not a real college entrance essay? Seriously, it includes the phrase:

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

It is on days like this I wonder what my grandparents ever did without the Internet.

Uncle Jesse

Got a broadband connection? Enjoy this oddly amusing John Stamos interview with a TV station.

A look at the world from 1987 to 2022

Column originally published Oct. 26, 2005

BELOIT, Wis. — I’m an easy mark.

Beloit College recently released its annual “Mindset List,” which is basically good for two things, e-mails that get forwarded across the world and column fodder that inevitably has to reference Beloit College.

I of course, took the bait, so here’s my column with the inevitable reference to Beloit College (though I may be the only columnist who includes a reference to Coe College’s football dominance over the Beloit Buccaneers, with an all-time mark of 29-8-1).

If you’re not familiar with the list, the basic idea is take the birth year of the current crop of college freshmen, then take a look at pop culture since that year and scare the old folks by how pointing out how different their world is from the class of 2009.

Continue reading "A look at the world from 1987 to 2022"

Wise Words

The Astros aren't toast yet, but the Krups is plugged in and set on high brown.
--From ESPN.com's Gene Wojciechowski.

Must-see Series

As I (briefly) opined yesterday, a non-Yankees World Series is a beautiful thing. ESPN.com's Jayson Stark (one of the few ESPN baseball columnists you can still read for free) gives us 10 reasons why this Series will be an enjoyable experience, TV ratings be damned. Here's a sample:

6. The 'This sure beats the NFL' factor

Another refreshing result of having the Yankees not go to the World Series every single year is that it provides the opportunity for baseball to brag about stuff like this:

Over the last four World Series, eight different teams have shown up (Astros, White Sox, Red Sox, Cardinals, Marlins, Yankees, Angels, Giants).

So how long has it been since that paragon of competitive balance -- the NFL -- managed to put eight different teams into four consecutive Super Bowls?

How about 1985-88? (Please rush some smelling salts to Paul Tagliabue's office.)

Since then (starting with '88), only nine different franchises have won a Super Bowl. But we're guaranteed that, once this World Series is over, 11 different franchises will have won a World Series in the same time frame.

So which sport has the competitive-balance problem again?

Click here for the whole thing.

Mom & Jack

No special reason to post this, but I did format three pictures from the roll developed last week. Here's the third, which Kristie says is one of the few pictures of her and Jack she actually likes.

Katrina may never be over

I've been meaning to post this for almost two months now, but I've always put it off for whatever reason.

If you have the time, I strongly urge you to click here for a Sept. 4 piece written by the Tribune's excellent Charles Madigan.

I know there were countless inches of newsprint devoted to Hurricane Katrina. I produced some of them myself. And I'm not by any means saying Madigan's piece is the best or most poignant or anything like that. But it struck me when I read it, and it seems to be something that, in years past, I'd have clipped out to save. In 2005, I decided to bookmark it and perhaps print it later.

Because I'm saving it -- for me, and for Jack, who, even if he never needs it for a school project or anything, should be able to have access to things like this -- things that were written in the moment. Anyone can write a book 30 years later and compile people's memories. But grabbing the instant, the surface, the now -- it's not impossible, but when done well, it's incomparable.

Two teams, one champion

Well, unless you've been living under a rock or are one of those people who doesn't even acknowledge the existence of professional sports, you know the World Series starts tomorrow. In Chicago.

You also know the White Sox are playing the team from Houston I've grown to despise. And, if you know me, you know I really, really want to see Astros fans suffer. I hope Paul Konerko hits five home runs over that goofy short porch in left field the way Lance Berkman has made his big postseason splash. I also hope Roger Clemens gets thrown out of a game based solely on his surliness and that Craig Biggio gets hit so hard by a pitched ball that he has to visit a reconstructive surgeon. But I digress.

Can the White Sox win this thing? Can Houston win this thing? This isn't exactly a match-up of teams that are so complete and dominant that everyone is anxiously awaiting the outcome. Of course, how many times has that happened in any pro sport in the last 25 years?

The point remains, the Astros have one hall-of-famer (Clemens), one tested but not necessarily dominant veteran (Andy Pettitte) and one young gun their fans revere like we Cub fans adore Mark Prior/Carlos Zambrano (Roy Oswalt). The White Sox are coming off what is pretty much the best postseason starting pitching performance in two generations, when the bullpen was used to record a total of two outs.

The Astros can hit a little, with young Chris Burke showing why Biggio needs to retire. Tavarez has a cannon in Center (he threw out three Cubs at home in three straight games this year). Morgan Ensberg hasn't been the same since getting hit by a pitch a few weeks ago, but Berkman is legit (short porch notwithstanding).

On the other hand, Konerko is a monster when he's hot (and he is smoking right now), Jermaine Dye had a 30-plus homer season, Pierzynski is the definition of an X-factor and hey -- that Tadahito Iguchi could very well win the World Series MVP. That is, of course, if Joe Crede (who many Sox fans wrote off for dead at least once in each of the past three seasons) suddenly stops his Mr. October act.

I think I'm just too familiar with both of these teams to have anything to predict. Nothing would surprise me, really, including a four game sweep by either team or a for-the-ages Game 7 next Sunday.

Like I said (or may have said -- I've certainly thought it) recently, the nicest part of the whole deal is having a fresh look (read: No Yankees) in the Series. It may not be good for Fox, but it's good for baseball. More teams each spring truly believe they can be World Series contenders, and Houston, Boston, Florida and Anaheim have shown why the Wild Card is so vital.

Also, if either one of these teams can win, then the Cubs can certainly blast the "Why not us" horn.

I'm always so excited for the World Series, even though it means we enter the dreaded three-month span with no baseball whatsoever. Who cares -- this is one of the best weeks of the year, and I'm excited for whatever plays out. Except the Astros winning. That might make me vomit.

Cubs fans forced to chose the least of three evils

Column originally published Oct. 19, 2005

And so it is down to this — the three teams Cubs fans hate most are the only three left playing for the right to be called World Series champion.

Seriously, is there a way to put a positive spin on this? If the Astros or Cardinals prevail, Cubs fans will be beaten over the head with that fact for almost 20 games next season. And if the White Sox win, well, do we really need to talk about how uncomfortable that would be?

Sox fans already hate Cubs fans. They hate our stadium. They hate our over-the-top worship of Harry Caray, who was a Sox broadcaster before he attained global fame with the Cubs. They hate our Billy goat curse. They hate that we’re even better known for our losing than them, even though the Sox have been first rate losers for many, many seasons since 1917.

They hate the same people I do — people who show up to a game to drink $7 beers, pick up a sunburn and work the cell phone the entire time. When Ryne Sandberg, at his Hall of Fame induction speech, ripped players who always know where to find the dugout camera with the red light on, he also should have harpooned the hundreds of idiots in the $100 seats behind home plate who wave at Lord knows who for nine innings straight.

But despite all that, I’m inclined to see the White Sox as the lesser of three evils here.

Continue reading "Cubs fans forced to chose the least of three evils."

Submachine

Click here to enjoy a point-and-click game called Submachine. And, if you're like me and you give up way, way too fast on these things, click here for the fairly simple solution.

News you can use

God bless The Onion, which I haven't been able to get on OS9 at work and just had time to check today for the first time in probably a year. It's all new and fantastic. Anyhow, here's a beauty:

Antonio Alfonseca Once Again Leads Major-League Relievers In Fingers
MIAMI—Florida Marlins pitcher Antonio Alfonseca dominated the MLB in appendages for the ninth straight year, finishing the 2005 season with a league-leading 12 fingers. Alfonseca, who made his debut with the Marlins in 1997 and wasted no time making this particular statistical category his own, led the NL for almost the entire season, only falling into a close second during an unusual two-week period in mid-August. Alfonseca's performance will trigger a $1 million bonus, as the Marlins signed him to an incentive-laden, oft-criticized, finger-enumeration-based contract. "Antonio has been through a lot this season, including some elbow problems and a trip to the DL," manager Jack McKeon said. "But in the end, he just went out there and had a lot of fingers." There was once again a tie for second place behind Alfonseca, with 214 pitchers amassing 10 fingers each, followed by Bob Wickman, who finished last with 9.7.

God bless America.

Baking with baby

Here's Jack helping Kristie make a batch of chocolate chip cookies.

This is the kind of thing you don't get to do when you're teaching other people's kids all day. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course, but it's a matter of perspective.

Kristie sometimes has rough days with Jack (as would anyone dealing with a toddler), but she always said "If I'm going to be tired and miserable at the end of the day, I''d like it to be because of my kid." Coming home from work and being too worn down to deal with your child is no fun for anyone.

My job isn't as emotionally demanding as teaching, so I never fully had that issue. But even so, I like to unwind a bit at the end of the day, and I have to say I prefer to come home in the middle of Jack's nap instead of the end, because then I have a small chance to be Scott before I have to be Dad.

Baby update

OK, so I've learned how to post photos directly to the blog with the new Blogger software stuff.

I should probably take the time to upload the better part of each roll of film we develop to the photo album, but I thought it'd be nice to get a few of my favorite shots of Jack up here every so often. And we just got our most recent roll developed on Thursday, so I'm being pretty timely.

As you can see, Jack likes to stack blocks. I think he may have had some help with this particular tower.

Also, I noticed I haven't done anything with a photo CD since Jack's birthday, which was about 6 months ago. That means I have an entire summer's worth of pictures that we've been hogging. His hair has gotten so curly that the old pictures don't really even do his cuteness justice anymore. I will try to remedy this situation.

Brainerd update

Anyone who's not from Libertyville probably won't give a rip, but there's new developments in the Brainerd building saga, via the Daily Herald:

Members of a Libertyville-Vernon Hills Area High School District 128 board committee aren't sold on a plan that would turn the shuttered Brainerd Avenue campus in Libertyville into a community center.

During an hour-long discussion Tuesday night, property committee member George Sachs asked whether district officials really want to sell the property, which contains athletic fields, a 76-year-old gym and an 89-year-old classroom building.

Board President Anne Landgraf questioned the viability of the community center plan, which was developed and championed by a citizens group called the Brainerd Preservation Committee.

"What kind of real business plan is there? Is this a feasible thing? Can this really happen?" asked Landgraf, who sits on all of the board's committees. "I need to see more than a lot of enthusiasm."

Want to know more? Read on here:

Wondering what's next in Great Places odyssey

Column originally published Oct. 12, 2005

CLINTON - Here's the general reaction I've heard since the Oct. 3 announcement that Clinton was selected as one of three pilot cities in the state's Iowa Great Places initiative:

”Congratulations ... how much?“

That's ”How much?“ as in ”How much money is the state going to give us to build all the things we put in the proposal?“
My answer is the same as everyone else on the local Great Places committee: I haven't the foggiest idea.

Continue reading "Wondering what's next in Great Places odyssey"

Faster than a speeding bullet

Read this on ESPN.com this morning:

Former Red Sox shortstop Nomar Garciaparra rescued two women who had fallen into Boston Harbor late last week, his uncle and a witness told the Boston Herald.

Garciaparra, traded to the Chicago Cubs on July 31, 2004, was with his uncle in his Charlestown condominium at about 10 p.m. Friday when they heard a scream and a splash, said the uncle, Victor Garciaparra.

As soon as the All-Star shortstop and two-time American League batting champ ran out the door to help the woman, her friend also fell in, hitting her head on the pier, said Victor Garciaparra, who oversees his nephew's business and charitable ventures.

Victor Garciaparra jumped from the balcony to the water 20 feet below.

"I swam towards them and by the time I reached them, Nomar was already there holding the girls up," he told the newspaper. "But he couldn't get them up without help."

Read the whole thing here.

Four teams, one champion

Heading into tonight's ALCS game one, I think I've resigned myself to not caring who wins the AL and 100 percent backing the Cardinals over the Astros.

Largely, I'm just happy the LCS round isn't an exact repeat of last year, because there's no way you'd get the same great 14 games. Also, no east coast teams is nice.

I had a lovely argument with Evan today over Jim Edmonds, and he pretty much nailed me to the wall by first conceding that the guy makes easy plays look hard, but also pointing out he's better than 90 percent of the guys out there. Better than 27 other center fielders? Well...


I'd take Andruw Jones and Carlos Beltran over Edmonds in a heartbeat. After that... I don't think anyone has his more than passable defense while approaching his power numbers. I hate him as a person (I just think he's smarmy), but I'll be darned if I can come up with a third guy who's a no-brainer over Edmonds, unless someone magically brings back the Ken Griffey Jr. of the early- to mid-90s.

I don't make predictions because they're usually wrong, but again, I'm excited to settle in for a great week of baseball.

Wonderful, wonderful news

Just in case you're wondering (and I know you are) how good my fantasy football season is going, here's a little headline that made me want to exfoliate my knees with a cheese grater: Saints' McAllister out for season with torn ACL.

Thank you EPSN.com. You've simply made my Monday afternoon. Now we can watch Drew Brees throw a Kyle Orton-like 5 INTs tonight and all will be right with the world.

Blast from the past

Not for the weak at heart... or stomach: This awful Internet experience. Those at work may want to turn down their speakers.

Wise Words

Please enjoy a tidbit from this week's edition of Tuesday Morning Quarterback. The whole thing is better in context, but as a standalone it's still pretty good.

Fun fact: Voyager has an 8-kilobyte active memory in its main computers, versus a standard 128 megabytes in new desktop PCs for home use. That is to say, your home computer has 16,000 times more processing power than the computer running a spacecraft that has left the solar system.

See? You learn something every day.

Eight teams, one champion

All right, I’m glad we’ve opened up a little baseball dialogue. For the record, this postseason, for me, anyhow, is more about who I want to lose than who I want to win. Allow me to explain:

I hate, hate, hate with the fiery passion of a million suns the Houston Astros. The only way I could hate them more is if they signed Jim Edmonds to play center field. Suffice it to say, then, that I hope they lose in agonizing fashion. If they have to get to the World Series and blow it, well, so be it.

I don’t really have any feelings at all about the Braves. They pretty much just inspire boredom.

I never want to see St. Louis win, because I hate Cardinals fans rubbing success in my face, but San Diego is so overmatched in this series it would be a waste of time to root for them in the odd case I could find something likable about them, aside from the fact that Padre shortstop Khalil Greene is probably the only white kid from rural Pennsylvania ever to be named Khalil.

In the American League, I remember fondly the Angels of 2002, and some of the same faces are still around. Some of the newer faces actually came through Cedar Rapids, but not during the time I spent with the Kernels. The only one close is ace John Lackey )who started game seven in 2002 on his birthday) who was in CR for about a month the year I spent with the team, except it was the first month of the season and he’d been promoted before I showed up in June.

Then you have the Yankees and, well, you either love them or you hate them according to popular sports culture. I don’t really hate them, but I’d never root for them either. I couldn’t do it even when they lost to Florida in 2003.

I love last year’s Red Sox team, and the one from the year before. Without Pedro Martinez, however I thin some of the character is gone. Still, if pressed, they’d be my choice as favorite team in the postseason. And maybe the Cubs will find it in them to make a legitimate run at Johnny Damon during free agency this winter. I think they’d be better off going after Hideki Matsui to fill the hole in left field, but what do I know?

Anyhow, the Red Sox winning back-to-back series would have to be even more egg on the face of fans supporting a team that’s nearing a century of no-win baseball seasons.

Which brings us to the White Sox. I’m not so much a Sox hater, kind of like I don’t hate the Cardinals. I don’t want the team to do bad, but I do hope their fans end up in a vat of boiling oil. There’s no way for the Sox to win the Series and for the fans to not become even larger pompous assbags (apologies to my sister’s boyfriend, of course), so I can’t logically root for them, either.

At this point, I feel like Vezzini in "The Princess Bride"... "Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me."

And so on and so forth. No matter what, I love playoff baseball, even if I can’t find a team to support. Following the postseason closely is a true joy for baseball nuts, and it’s why I look forward to every October. Three games in, I’m already hooked.

They didn't win -- it's a shame

Column originally published Oct. 5, 2005

CHICAGO - "Do they still play the blues in Chicago when baseball season rolls around?"

Steve Goodman asked that eternal question before his untimely death in 1984. He continued by asking "When the snow melts away, do the Cubbies still play in their ivy-covered burial ground?"

Well, yeah. At the end of the 2004 season, I wrote off the season as a minor disappointment en route to what was supposed to be a glorious 2005. I even predicted Aramis Ramirez's All-Star selection (though it was Derrek Lee who almost had the MVP season, not Ramirez). I thought it would be impossible for a similar series of injuries and rotten luck to strike the Cubs again in 2005.

Boy was I wrong.

Continue reading "They didn't win -- it's a shame."

I'm still alive

Does anyone still visit me here? I know a few folks do, and I appreciate that.

Among my list of things to take care of are catching up on the webbing of our Jack pictures (though I may be throwing up just one or a two a roll -- he's still real cute, it just takes a long time to format the pictures to be small enough that I can upload them without crashing my ghetto dial-up connection).

Anyhow, perhaps the baseball posts will be copious as the playoffs continue. I unofficially gave up on the Cubs near the end of July (and the eight-game losing streak in early August) but held out enough hope that I still watched or listened to most every game. Some say devoted, others say masochistic. Either way, they lost. And it sucked.

Maybe my friend Evan, an avid Cardinals fan, fantasy football opponent and odd link supplier, will guest write some Cardinal blog entires. I may have to actually e-mail him about that, though. Either way, I know he's pulling hard for the Angels to win so he can head to a World Series game from his home in Oakland. Or San Francisco. Or whichever damn Bay Area city he lives in these days.

I'll try to do better than my weekly columns -- I promise. I still have thoughts, I just don't always have time to think them into text. I have updated some of my links on the right, inlcuding blogs owned by (in no order) a guy who used to live acorss the street from me and who was on the student newspaper staff with me in high school, his friend whom I also went to elementary school with, and another guy I've known since elementary school but mostly from church. I once got stuck in an elevator with his older brother, but only for a few minutes.

Also, in my random exceedingly good news for no apparent reason tidbit, I recently procured two 2.2-liter water bottles from Farm & Fleet. These things are awesome, totally dwarfing my 1-liter bottles from Hy-Vee (yes, I really am an Iowan now). Plus, they were empty, so I didn;t even have to suffer the shame of paying for water just to get the bottle.

God bless America.

Where have all the candidates gone?

Column originally published Sept. 28, 2005

CLINTON - When election math is simple, it isn't any fun.

Let me put it this way: There are four seats open this fall on the Clinton City Council. And there are four people running for those four seats. In this case, four plus four equals no contested races.

And since the only non-incumbent running has already served almost five years on the council, there's not even one new face in the mix.

My frustration here is not meant as a personal indictment of any of the current council members. It's not their fault no one else is running.

However, I find it stunning that after the summer of our discontent over everything from the police facility vote to ongoing Vision Iowa projects and everything in between (large vehicle parking, handicap parking spaces, sewer fees and general property tax malaise) that when it came time for the complainers to put their own butts on the line, there were no takers.

Continue reading "Where have all the candidates gone?"

An awful lot to think about

Column originally published Sept. 21, 2005

Dear Mom:

I know there's been an awful lot to think about since your dad died on Friday. I've been thinking plenty myself, pretty much in circles, so I think writing is the best way to sort my brain out.

I can't begin to put myself in your shoes. I know things weren't always the best with him, but our family still has been much closer than many we've both encountered. And no matter what, I always knew how much he loved us. He even got good at saying it, something not everyone can accomplish.

Looking back at just the good times would be the easy way out, although there were plenty of good times. He always made sure the whole family was together around Christmas, always made a point of visiting us every summer, even though it meant traveling from Connecticut or Florida. He was generous, buying us everything from a toaster oven to a new bathroom. I'll never forget how his help allowed me to go to the college of my choice.

And there were so many moments that defined him in my eyes. The guy put the ruff in gruff, from swearing at the Atlanta Falcons during the NFL playoffs to just snarling at people because he thought it was fun. Eyes rolled plenty of times, of course, but it's still sad to know his distinctive voice is silenced forever.

Continue reading "An awful lot to think about "

Not from these parts

Our sports guys don't get to write sentences like this too much (or, really, ever):

(Libertyville quarterback Cameron Turner) the son of Chicago Bears offensive coordinator Ron Turner, had also thrown an interception inside the Lake Forest 5 to sophomore linebacker Miles Smith, who’s the son of Bears head coach Lovie Smith.

That's from this Daily Herald story about the Wildcats' 32-13 win in a Friday night home game against the once-mighty Scouts.

Arrr... it drives me nuts

Sorry I've been lax lately.

Anyhow, these links were supposed to go up earlier.

Monday was the annual Talk Like A Pirate Day. It should need no further explanation.

On a related note, remember the guy who ran for student body President and North Carolina State as a pirate? Well, he won. And he's still in character, even as he presides over student senate meetings. Don't believe me? Click here for a story about the young man being rewarded for his "Pirattitude."

You also can check out other articles from the NCSU student paper, such as this piece about the Captain's plan to reward students who get As on tests, or this editorial about the Captain. I have to say, I think the editorial board of the Technician needs to loosen up a bit.

It is impossible to know precisely what was expected from Whil Piavis when he was elected student body president last semester. With his pirate persona and passionate scurvy crew, student voters may have seen Piavis as a man on a mission to buck the system. On the other hand, Piavis's election may have been representative of a general feeling amongst students that the student government is for the most part a joke.

Unfortunately for all of us, rather than implementing much needed positive changes in the SG or focusing on the few issues through which government can have a tangible positive effect on students as a whole, Piavis has been spending too much time promoting his self-described "pirattitude."

If NCSU is anything like Coe was (and I'm guessing there were a few common threads similar to those found at every college campus), Wolfpack students pretty much think student government is interesting only to those involved in student government. For everyone else, it was just a colossal waste of time. This coming from a guy who actively participated in campaigns to elect a dead baseball broadcaster and a professional wrestler to the student body presidency.

Kohawk update

All right, this isn't a Web link, but I'd though you'd like to know how one of my favorite Lousianans is doing after Hurrican Katrina. I'm not sure how long ago this e-mail was sent, because I came across it in a forward:

Andy and I are safe at my mom's house in Alexandria, LA. If anyone needs to contact me they can call (e-mail Scott if you really need the number, link is at right). Feel free to forward this as needed. I know people are starting to get antsy. We were able to get out and are just figuring out what's next. For today, I'm going to volunteer at the shelters. Can't sit by and watch the government drop the ball....have to do something. But tell everyone who asks that we've heard that we still have a house and that we are as well as can be expected. We are the lucky ones and I hope for those still struggling to get out. I pray for a miracle. If we have not hope...

joy begnaud jaeger

And that's what I know for now.

Evan's link of the week

Well, if you like Asian guys using visual techniques to apply Matrix-like effects to ping-pong, then this is the link for you. And if you don't, then what the hell are you doing here in the first place?

Searching for the truth

The Sports Guy (see link at right) is hands down my favorite net-based columnist. And this tidbit from today's column is a prime example of why:

...the studio guys on every network needed to calm down last week. I know the upset victory gave everyone in New Orleans a tiny boost, and it was a beautiful thing, but that's all it was -- a tiny, temporary boost -- and yet some announcers made it seem like a huge victory for everyone back home. Not to be harsh, but do you really think there was a city worker dragging water-logged corpses into a truck who stopped for a second and said, 'Hey, did anyone catch a score of the Saints game?' It just seems like we overrate the impact of sports sometimes, and this was one of those times.

As usual, couldn't have said it better myself.

Aging process happens faster than expected

Column originally published Sept. 14, 2005

CLINTON - That's it, I am officially old.

Maybe it's the car loan, the mortgage, the wife, the baby, the full-time job -- whatever it is, I'm old.

As I read the story on Tuesday's front page about students and parents challenging the Clinton High School policy that bars non-high school students from attending school dances -- well, I'm ashamed to admit this, but I kind of sided with the principal.

Take this quote from CHS junior Lindsey Pardee: "I don't see why it's the school board's decision or the principal's who we can bring to a dance and who we can't."

Somewhere in the not-so-distant past, my first thought would have been how cool it was that someone Lindsey's age took the time to go to a school board meeting, step up to the microphone and tell the powers that be what she really thought.

Instead, I said to myself, "Since the principal is accountable for what happens, it pretty much is her decision who can or can't go to a dance."

How the mighty have fallen.

Continue reading "Aging process happens faster than expected"

What does Hurricane Katrina mean to us?

Column originally published Sept. 7, 2005

NEW ORLEANS -- This is different, isn't it, from Sept. 11?

After all, 9-11-01 immediately galvanized our nation, and Hurricane Katrina is still slow in doing that, with many people simply preferring not to think about the horrors being experienced by countless thousands of Americans in the south.

This is not to discredit all those who have done and are doing whatever they can to help. God bless those people for their efforts.

But really, it's different, isn't it?

Continue reading "What does Hurricane Katrina mean to us?"

The magical Midwest

All right, I'm not sure how exciting this will be to any of you, but I came across it and I thought I'd pass it along.

Alan Solomon, the travel (and other stuff) writer for the Chicago Tribune, spent the last 13 weeks writing up classic Midwest tourist destinations. You can find a list of all of them here if you'd like. For a quicker reference, here's a list of three places, two I've been to a handful of times, one of which I have plenty of experience with:

■ Galena, Ill.: Just minutes away from my dad's hometown of Elizabeth, Ill., where I was Saturday afternoon and will be again today, Galena is, well, according to Solomon:

Walk along Main Street in the early morning, any morning, when the crowds aren't there—and let yourself be enveloped by the place. Walk up the hill to Bench Street and Prospect Street, and take your time. There's nothing like it anywhere in the Midwest.

■ Minneapolis and the Mall of America:I first experienced The Mall while on a college tour in 2000. I visited two more times about this time last year when we were in the Cities for Nick & Alexis' wedding. That was also my first real experience with the Cities themselves, including some of the things Solomon mentions. And...

■ The Amana Colonies: Less than an hour from Cedar Rapids, I've never truly "done" the Amanas, but have eaten there a handful of times (including a special trip during college graduation weekend) and visited the shops maybe twice. But the write up is very faithful to the experience as I remember it.

And, as a little bonus (although you'd have found it yourself anyway if you clicked on the first link), click here for Solomon's take on Lake Geneva, where my parents went on their honeymoon. I've been there a few times on church retreats and should possibly consider bringing my own lovely wife there at some point.

Wise Words

NFL.com's Greeg Easterboork, who writes Tuesday Morning Quarterback and a host of other things for other people, included this tidbit in his column from a few weeks ago.

And Crank Up the Air Conditioner As You Drive Around Trying to Save on Gasoline
With fuel prices rising, last week the American Automobile Association advised motorists to "shop with their steering wheel" by driving around and looking for the cheapest gas. This is terrible advice. If the pump price is $3 a gallon, a car that gets 20 MPG consumes 15 cents' worth of gasoline each mile. Motor more than a couple miles looking for the cheapest gas and you've already spent your savings -- considering filling stations know each other's prices and usually post rates only a few cents different from the next guy's. And gasoline is hardly the only expense of operating a vehicle. Cars, pickup trucks and SUVs cost on average about 40 cents per mile to operate, when fuel, maintenance, repairs, insurance and depreciation are taken into account. (The estimate comes from the Internal Revenue Service, which allows a deduction of 40.5 cents per mile for business or charitable use of personal vehicles) So if you drive five miles to "shop with your steering wheel," you've just spent $2 -- and you're not likely to find a station where a fill-up is $2 cheaper.

With fuel prices rising, last week the American Automobile Association advised motorists to 'shop with their steering wheel' by driving around and looking for the cheapest gas. This is terrible advice. If the pump price is $3 a gallon, a car that gets 20 MPG consumes 15 cents' worth of gasoline each mile. Motor more than a couple miles looking for the cheapest gas and you've already spent your savings -- considering filling stations know each other's prices and usually post rates only a few cents different from the next guy's. And gasoline is hardly the only expense of operating a vehicle. Cars, pickup trucks and SUVs cost on average about 40 cents per mile to operate, when fuel, maintenance, repairs, insurance and depreciation are taken into account. (The estimate comes from the Internal Revenue Service, which allows a deduction of 40.5 cents per mile for business or charitable use of personal vehicles) So if you drive five miles to 'shop with your steering wheel,' you've just spent $2 -- and you're not likely to find a station where a fill-up is $2 cheaper.

I've been trying to tell people I know this for years, but no one seems to believe me. Also, that 40.5 cents the IRS recommends? We get 22 cents per mile at my office.

Anyhow, I read TMQ as much for the non-football stuff as I do for the actual football insight, which is always a cut above the rest.

The futility of fighting nature

The Chicago Tribune, in closing out an editorial in today's paper, wrote this:

The purpose of flood plains is to flood. New Orleans is exhibit A of that immutable rule of nature, and no amount of resources poured into rebuilding the city as it was will change that.

I'm not going to make a value judgment on the notion of whether or not to rebuild New Orleans. And I'm not going to go full on into even looking at both sides, because I think I may write my column about this on Monday, and I want to make sure I get it absolutely right in my brain before I start typing (contrast entries must be published by Sept. 30). But here's my initial, cursory, scratching the surface take on the whole thing:

I live on the banks of the Mississippi River (literally about a 30 minute walk). Typical spring flooding would not harm my home. And when the town flooded (most notably in 1965), I'm pretty sure my little lot on Melrose Court stayed in decent shape (since none of our 70-year-old woodwork seems to be rotted out). But after we built the levee, we taunted the river.

People forget that when the levee breaks (no song reference intended), the result won't just be a flood like our grandfathers remember from the 30s. The result will be devastating because of how different the river is from what it actually is supposed to be.

If I don't stop now, I'll write for hours, and I'm supposed to be doing laundry and washing bottles. But let's leave it at this: While I'm not walking around in a daze like I did for a week after Sept. 11, 2001, I do much more connected to the issue than I did the terrorist attacks. When I lived in Independence, I had no worries that a plane would crash into our tallest (four-story) building. But now, I do very much realize that a disaster like this could easily affect me in the exact same way.

The called shot

OK, I haven't had the time to read much past the headlines on this site, but those alone are chilling. Basically, this is a special section from the staff of the New Orleans Times-Picayune, published in 2002, that gives a chilling preview of what's been happening over the past week in The Big Easy.

I can't even begin to imagine what it's like in southern Terrebone Parish, where my high school youth group went on our first mission trip the summer after my freshman year (and yes, that was the trip famous for the locals who wrote and performed a parody of Jimmy Buffet's "Margaritaville" that included the phrase "Wastin' away again in Southern Terrebone/Searchin' for my lost hammer and saw).

Also, this was published in June 2002, right around when Kristie and I got married which, as anyone lucky enough to attend may recall, was right around when the Upper Mississippi River was in the midst of a 10-year flood.

Anyhow, thanks to Eric Zorn's blog for the link.

Governor wants to parent all Illinois teenagers

Column originally published Aug. 31, 2005

CHICAGO - Rodney R. Blagojevich - politician, parent, protector. That's what he'd have you believe, anyway.

Blagojevich, who already has endorsed hollow legislation about mature-themed video games and a number of other time wasters, set about to pad his resume once more earlier this month when he whipped out his official pen and vetoed a bill that would have lowered to 18 the legal age at which an Illinois resident can get a permanent tattoo.

While everyone else has been sounding the well-worn tune "Old enough to die for your country but not old enough to get a tattoo," I've simply been wondering how a man smart enough to get elected governor of Illinois can be dumb enough to think this move will buy him any political capital.

Continue reading "Governor wants to parent all Illinois teenagers"

Kick 'em all out of the Hall

Like ESPN.com's Jim Caple, I don't defend steroid use in baseball. I do, however, question the hypocrisy evident when people try to rip someone like Rafael Palmiero to shreds when we still glorify the NFL of the 1980s as if nothing ever happend. Caple says it best:

Once we make a clear, consistent statement about the NFL and the tainted records from its Steroid Era, perhaps then we'll finally be in a position to make some judgments about baseball's recent statistics. Once we apply the same standard to the players from the NFL's Steroid Era, we can talk about how recent major leaguers should be evaluated by baseball's Hall of Fame. But until then, I don't want to hear anyone complain that baseball performances have been tainted or that players should be banned from Cooperstown.

After all, if it never bothered you in one sport, why should it bother you in another?

Like that? Read more here.

Wildcat update

What a surprise... I have another update! (My e-mail inbox exploded on Tuesday). Anyhow, Laura Dunwoodie got married last year and here is a way for you to donate to her efforts to eradicate leukemia and lymphoma by participating in an endurance race (The Disney Marathon) for charity.

Kohawk update

To improve the functionality of this blog (and maybe help me attract former acquaintances on search engines), I am hereby instituting a new feature: linking to Web sites of my friends who happened to let me know they have a Web site via a mass e-mail. Also, in case you were wondering, I capitalize "Web" because that's Associated Press style and, well, it's pretty much an unbreakable habit. That's also why you'll never see me use postal abbreviations on anything but post.

Enough of that. The first honoree in my new feature is Angie Fullarton, who just got engaged. The whole story is on her site, which can be found here.

Inherit the Spaghetti Monster

Want to see how fast holes can be shot through the "Intelligent Design" argument soon to be plaguing the Kansas school board? Take a look around here, a site billing itself as an open letter to the state's board of education. A sample:

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I'm writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I'm sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Thanks to my friend Derek for pointing this out. Though he's certainly politically conscious, I think he may just be excited about all the pirate references.