More from TMQ

I also enjoyed TMQ's link to this story from the Helena Independent Record, because it made me think of my uncle, a game warden for the state of Montana. A sample:

A young buck near Fort Harrison, who might like Christmas even more than Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, is ushering in the holiday season a bit early this year.

The mule-deer buck somehow got mixed up with a string of Christmas lights, and they're now hanging from his antlers and body, according to Kevin Cook, a game warden with Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks. He said the agency started receiving reports about the decorated deer last week.

"We get reports about once a year regarding a deer with something in its antlers. One had a swing-set swing; once one had a clothesline with clothes still on it; and tomato cages aren't unusual," Cook said. "Last year, about this time, another buck with Christmas lights in his antlers was reported on the south end of town. I don't think it's the same deer." ...

"If he were to get entangled in a fence with the lights and become immobilized where we could get to him, we would do that. But trying to catch him without darting him is near impossible," Cook said.

He added that the only tranquilizer they have doesn't work well on deer and elk, and could do more harm than good.

"The mortality rate is high with this drug ... and puts them in a high-stress situation," Cook said. "The only good drug has to be used by a veterinarian, is extremely expensive, and is 10,000 times more powerful than morphine — if you get a drop on your skin you're dead. The last time we used that was for the moose that was hanging out by the Home Depot for a month."

Demonic Squirrel Motorcycle Riding Story

I got the link to this story from a work colleague the other day. Can't say if it's true or not, but it still makes for a pretty good read. Here's a sample:

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street…on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

Read the whole story here.

Sucks to be this guy

BRISBANE, Australia (AP) -- A bungling arsonist who allegedly tried three times to torch a hairdressing salon ended up setting himself ablaze, an Australian court heard Monday.

Shane Long was allegedly hired to set fire to the salon by neighboring shop owner Erich Alexander Sorger.

Prosecutor Kate Youngson told Brisbane District Court that Sorger, who has pleaded innocent to four arson charges, set fire to his TV repair shop in the east coast city of Brisbane in March 2004 and then hired Long to set fire to the hairdressing salon, in a possible attempt to throw police off the scent.

But Long, who allegedly was paid 400 Australian dollars ($300), proved to be a hapless arsonist, failing on three separate occasions to set the salon alight and ending up torching his own clothes with a petrol bomb, Youngson said. He was not injured.

Read the full account here.

Sucks to be this kid

Milk does a body good, but it didn't do good for one batboy.

On a dare, a Florida Marlins batboy tried to drink a gallon of milk in under an hour without throwing up. But not only did the batboy not succeed in the challenge, his mere attempt cost him his job for six games, the Miami Herald reported Wednesday.

The Marlins suspended the unidentified batboy for the team's upcoming six-game homestand against the Cardinals and Mets from Aug. 28 through Sept. 4 for accepting the dare Sunday from Dodgers pitcher (and former Marlin) Brad Penny.

Read the whole story here.

Sucks to be this chick

(From today's Chicago Tribune)

Until recently, LaChania Govan's complaints about Comcast's service seemed relatively tame. The 25-year-old Elgin mother of two said she was put on hold, disconnected, even transferred to the Spanish language line.

But after persistent problems with her digital recording system forced her to make dozens of calls to the cable company in July, her August bill came with a change really worth complaining about: In place of her name were the words "Bitch Dog."

"I could not believe it," said Govan, who works in customer service for a credit card company.

She said she immediately called Comcast to cancel her service and was sent to an operator.

"She asked me for my name. I said, `You really don't want me to go there,'" Govan said.

Read the full account, which inlcudes the word "scrotum bag," here.

Sucks to be this guy

PINE BLUFF, Ark. (AP) -- A vehicle went airborne Sunday morning after running off Highway 65 and plowed through a house, landing on top of a Pine Bluff man who was asleep in his bed, police said.

"It hit the outside bedroom wall, continued through the bedroom, over the bed and partially exited through the side wall," Pine Bluff Lt. Bob Rawlinson said. "The guy was pinned under the car and rolled up in the mattress."

Devlon Chandler, 34, of Pine Bluff and his wife Arninitra were traveling home from a casino in Greenville, Miss., when he fell asleep at the wheel, police said. The couple's car left the road, traveled over a grassy area, clipped a telephone pole, ruptured a gas main and went airborne before coming to rest in the bedroom of Ricky May, 42, of Pine Bluff.

The bed and other furniture were crushed under the car, Rawlinson said.

"The car was totally inside the house and a little bit sticking out through the other side," Rawlinson said. Two walls were destroyed, he said.

Read more here.

Sucks to be this chick

FRAMINGHAM, Mass. (AP) -- A woman searching for aluminum cans in a trash bin was dumped into the back of a garbage truck after the driver emptied the bin without realizing the woman was inside, police said.

Wendy Cobb, 38, avoided major injury after a worker installing carpet nearby heard Cobb's screams and alerted the truck driver, who was about to press the compacting button, the MetroWest Daily News of Framingham reported.

Cobb, who said she's unemployed because of a bad back, said she doesn't collect cans unless she needs gas money. The trash bin was nearly empty so Cobb thought there was a low risk it would be emptied, she said.

Cobb was treated for an ankle injury. She also said she lost a cell phone in the fall Tuesday morning.

Read more here.

Sucks to be these guys

NAMPA, Idaho (AP) -- Police in this southwestern Idaho town raided the wrong duplex, throwing a powerful noisemaking device through the unit's window and standing outside with guns drawn.

John Simpson, convinced he was under attack Wednesday, said he hit the floor of his home, and took his wife down with him.

"I guess we're going to have to seek psychological help, I hate to say that," Simpson said Thursday. "I'm not nuts or anything, but I'm still shaking. Put a shotgun next to your ear and pull the trigger to get an idea of the noise."

A Nampa police officer had confused Simpson's window for that of residents who share a duplex with the 62-year-old Vietnam veteran, Assistant Chief Tim Vincent said. Police had intended to serve a search warrant in the adjacent unit. The officer threw the so-called 'flash-bang' device in the window, breaking the glass and setting off a loud noise and light.

Simpson, a house painter, said he picked up the first thing he could find -- a vacuum hose -- and ran out the duplex's door to defend himself.

Read more here.

Sucks to be this guy

LONDON (AP) -- A British motorist, driving home from work with his car window wound down, had his nose broken by a flying frozen sausage, an official said Monday.

The 46-year-old man was driving near his home in South Woodham Ferrers, Essex, east of London, when the sausage came through the window and hit him on the nose, a spokesman for the Essex Ambulance Service said on condition of anonymity.

"The man said he was making his way home after work and had the window down because it was such a nice afternoon," the ambulance spokesman said.

"He said he saw a car coming the other way and felt a searing pain in his nose. His nose was undoubtedly fractured and he had lost quite a lot of blood."

Read the full account here.

Sucks to be this chick

SILVER SPRING, Md. (AP) -- A woman accidentally drove her car off a parking garage Monday, but suffered only minor injuries, police said.

The Toyota Avalon landed on its roof after plunging from the top level of the two-story parking garage outside Warwick Towers, Montgomery County police said.

Teeranjanie Persaud, 19, told police that as she pulled into a parking space facing the outside of the building, she put her foot on the brake but her car kept going forward. The car crashed through the retaining wall, going down nose first.

Read the full account here.

Sucks to be this chick

KETTERING, Ohio (AP) -- A woman rushing to a hospital to give birth hit a few stops along the way - first at a gas station where she delivered the baby herself, then when confused police ordered her out of the car at gunpoint.
...

A customer at the gas station in suburban Dayton tried to give police a heads-up about Coleman's situation, but a mix-up involving the license plate number had them thinking the van was stolen.

As officers went looking for her, Coleman headed for the hospital, naked below the waist and with the baby boy in her arm. His umbilical cord was still attached.

Read the full account here.

Sucks to be this guy

OSLO, Norway (AP) -- Norwegian homeowner Odin Viken woke with a jolt Monday, fearing his house was being shaken by an earthquake.

But this earthquake was man-made: a 26-ton tank slammed into Viken's house in Vassbotna, some 350 miles north of Oslo, the military said.

The Norwegian tank, a CV-90 armored fighting vehicle, was part of the 15-nation Battle Griffin military exercise in western and northern Norway, a statement said. There were no injuries.

The tank went through a wall and part way into the bathroom, Viken said on national radio.

Read the full account here.

Sucks to be this guy

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- A Portland worker was rescued after his arm got caught in an industrial noodle mixer. Officials said that the man became ensnared in the machine Tuesday after his sleeve or perhaps his hand got caught on the mixer as the machine was turning.

The power of the machine pulled his arm through the mixer and out the bottom, lifting the man into the mixing hopper.

A crew of 28 people including 13 firefighters, one chief surgeon and four paramedics were called to help disentangle the man from the mixer.

Read the full account here.

Sucks to be this guy

GRAPEVINE, Texas (AP) -- The owner of J.D. the Labrador may be wishing his dog weren't such a good retriever. Matthew Porter and two friends were playing Frisbee golf in a park Monday when a police officer who thought he smelled burning marijuana began questioning them.

As the officer was checking for outstanding warrants, J.D. waded into a nearby creek and emerged with a plastic bag containing the drug.

Porter, 25, was charged with possessing drug paraphernalia. Micah Hays, 24, was charged with marijuana possession. J.D. was turned over to the third person at the park, who faces no charges.

Read the full piece here.

Sucks to be this chick

STONE MOUNTAIN, Ga. (AP) -- A driver's education instructor was run over by one of her students and pinned beneath the car for 15 minutes, officials said.

Two cars driven by students collided on the DeKalb County Schools driver's education lot, then one of the students backed into Patricia Erwin, running her over.

She was hospitalized Friday in stable condition and underwent surgery for multiple broken bones.

Read the full piece here.

Sucks to be this guy

MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) -- Defense attorney Leslie Ballin called it the "jury pool from hell." The group of prospective jurors was summoned to listen to a case of Tennessee trailer park violence. Right after jury selection began last week, one man got up and left, announcing, "I'm on morphine and I'm higher than a kite."

When the prosecutor asked if anyone had been convicted of a crime, a prospective juror said that he had been arrested and taken to a mental hospital after he almost shot his nephew. He said he was provoked because his nephew just would not come out from under the bed.

Another would-be juror said he had had alcohol problems and was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover officer. "I should have known something was up," he said. "She had all her teeth."

Read the full account here.

Sucks to be this guy

ANN ARBOR, Mich. (AP) -- A homeless man who fell asleep in a commercial trash bin was dumped into the back of a garbage truck Friday and compacted - but escaped serious injury, officials said.

"It's really quite miraculous the guy got out without serious injury," said Bryan Weinert, program director for Ann Arbor's solid waste department.

Weinert said there is a large, dull steel blade that pushes the waste against the wall of the truck to maximize space. He said a person could be protected by trash that is hard to compact.

Lt. Scott Robertson of the Ann Arbor fire department said he did not know how much of the compacting process was completed before the man was discovered.

Click here for the full account.

Sucks to be this guy

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) -- A naked man was bit in the genitals by a police dog while being arrested for running nude and entering homes in a Minneapolis neighborhood. The man was taken to the hospital for treatment of his injuries.

According to police reports, a police canine unit found the nude suspect shortly after noon Tuesday in a house on the 5400 block of Park Avenue South.

While the officer was ordering the suspect out of the house, the suspect began hitting him, police said.

The dog, which was still leashed, bit the suspect to protect the officer.

Officer Ron Reier, a department spokesman, said police dogs are trained to bite if their partner is attacked. However, dogs are not trained to bite in the groin area. Reier said the dog likely just jumped and bit the man, who was moving around at the time.

Read the full account here.

Sucks to be this guy

NEW YORK (AP) -- Money - not even $149 million - can't buy you love. Juan Rodriguez, who collected the huge windfall in the Mega Millions lottery last month, is now on the outs with his wife, the New York Post reported Saturday. Iris Rodriguez wants a divorce from her husband of 17 years, and she filed the paperwork just 10 days after Juan bought the winning ticket on Nov. 19.

Iris Rodriguez is seeking a portion of her husband's huge lottery check, the Post said. Rodriguez, 49, opted to take his winnings in a single lump-sum payment of $88.5 million before taxes.

Although the couple appeared together at a news conference after Rodriguez matched the winning numbers, his wife had previously given him the boot over his financial difficulties. Rodriguez had filed for bankruptcy a month before his lottery win, and court papers showed he had just 78 cents in a savings account and owed $44,000 to creditors.

Read the full account here.

Sucks to be this guy

NEWARK, N.J. (AP) -- A father's attempt to teach his daughter a lesson about drinking backfired when the teen led police to a stash of drugs and weapons inside their home.

Kevin Winston, 46, called police at 2:45 a.m. Friday after his 16-year-old daughter came home drunk and unruly. When police arrived, however, the girl told them she feared for her safety because her father stored drugs and weapons in the home.

The girl led officers to a crawl space above the ceiling where they found four semiautomatic guns and more than 600 vials of cocaine.

Click here to read the full account.