Stuff you didn't know

You know why I love the Internet? Stuff like this site, a compilation of the "Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay." A sampling:

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
--Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
--Russell Beland, Springfield

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
--Jennifer Hart, Arlington

There's more. Thanks to Eric Zorn for the link.