Max update

Max went to bed shortly after he got home last night. About the time Kristie and I were ready to turn in, Charlie woke up fussy (which he does several times a week around 1 a.m.). Since we were still awake, I opted to bring him down, change his diaper and have him eat. After he did that and went back to sleep, we took him back to bed. At this point, with Charlie mildly protesting the return to cribville, we heard Max fussing in his bed.

It was around 1:15 a.m., well shy of the time when we could give him more benadryl. He was itchy pretty much everywhere, and he was broken out in hives from pretty much head to toe. (At the ER, he was just red, like a sunburn. This was more like being covered with swollen mosquito bites.) He did manage to go back to sleep. At some point in the night (I eventually lost concept of time), Max ended up in our room. I do recall it was 4:45 a.m. when I gave him his next dose of benadryl, and he eventually asked to go back to his own bed about 20 minutes later.

The next thing I remember was Max coming back into our room some time after 7 and asking to cuddle. I was able to get back to sleep, though our bed is not big enough for two adults and a squirmy three-year-old. When he and I finally woke up for good around 8:45 a.m., his skin blotches were almost entirely gone and he was full of the vim and vigor he usually displays. He bossed me around when I was making his breakfast (at one time he simply proclaimed, "I know everything") and has been pretty much bouncing through the house as per usual.

Out of the woods? Not for certain, but we do have three days of steroids to administer and monitor his condition and watch what he eats, but aside from the ER visit and one restless night, everything seems to be as normal as possible.

The other bonus was Charlie slept in until about 9 a.m. and now is in as fantastic a mood as Max, crawling around the house, taking things out of Kristie's purse, pulling up on furniture and generally smiling at everything. It's weird, but we'll take it.

Max visits the ER

There comes a point for some parents where trips to the emergency room brought on by allergic reactions are no longer the harrowing, white-knuckle experiences they once were. Tonight, we learned we have reached that point.

Pops turned 59 Wednesday, so we planned to bring the boys down for a family dinner tonight, then leave Jack and Max while Kristie and I took Charlie to our small group gathering. Just before we left, Pops broke into his birthday cashews and offered a few to each of us. Jack obviously was not an intended recipient, given his Christmas Eve 2005 adventure. Max asked if he could have one, and Kristie and I consulted ever so briefly and agreed. Whoops.

While we were not ten minutes into our drive to Grayslake, K called and said Max's cheeks were reddening and asked how much Benadryl she could give him. We suggested a dosage and agreed to pay attention to the phone in case the situation worsened. Well, sometime after 8:30, it worsened as Max heave-hoed the contents of his stomach. Though he settled down quickly and was in good spirits, Kristie ordered a trip to the ER. We tossed Charlie in the van and met K and Max in the ER waiting room.

By the time we arrived a bit after 9 p.m., he was red almost from head to toe (except for what basically would be his mustache area, were he able to grow a mustache, which likely will not happen for at least 30 years if not 50). But he wasn't having trouble breathing and did not seem to be as itchy as you might expect for someone whose entire body was a rash. He was fairly talkative (as usual) and basically displaying the trademark resiliency he's displayed since the day he was born. This kid is as tough as the nails we thought he swallowed a few years ago.

The first thing we did was the initial admissions checkup at which a nurse weighed him (about 16.2 kilograms ~ 36.5 pounds) and checked his pulse (132 bpm) and temperature (no fever). Then he was taken to a pediatric ER room where they asked us the same questions as before (any medications? When did this start? Et cetera) and took some of the same readings. Shortly after, a nurse practitioner and two other ladies in scrubs came in and asked some of the same questions again. (I know this happens everywhere, but by this point two people had asked the questions and written down answers. If you're not going to read the chart, then why force someone else to do the work?)

The NP did the all-important check of his mouth and confirmed his airway was not constricted. In the world of food allergies — at least so far as we have learned based on our experiences with Jack going back almost six full years — the most important thing is to make sure the kid can breathe. I mean, no one wants to see a kid throw up a bunch, and at some point you have to worry about dehydration. But you eat a bad nut, you yak it up, you move on. If you can breathe without any problems the entire time, you're going to be OK. The NP told us Max would get some more Benadryl and, the reason we came to the ER, a steroid. By this point, Charlie was growing quite fussy (way past his bed time, of course). I decided I needed to take Charlie home to sleep. K would wait at the hospital with Max and Kristie. Jack had been with Pops the entire time, which I assume wasn't a big problem in the scheme of things.

The minor hassle was the issue of car seats. I originally planned to move Max's car seat (and Jack's booster, which can go anywhere) into K's car. However, I could not for the life of me get his car seat loose. Those friendly police officers who helped us install it correctly during an open house in August did an amazing job. After screwing with it for maybe 10 minutes (with K holding a fussy to irate back to fussy Charlie in the parking lot the entire time, and remember this is December in the north suburbs, so even the remarkable mild weather is still a bit brisk), I decided to instead remove Charlie's car seat from its base and install it in the Rav, leaving the van at the hospital.

With that decided, Charlie and I drove home. I sent some text messages to the people from our small group, who had a decent idea why we left so abruptly but probably wanted to know as much as I could share. I got Charlie to bed and decompressed a bit and eventually started to write. I'm reasonably sure most people who are not family members don't need or want this degree of detail, but this is the kind of thing I find I need to write down when the events are fresh because not too far down the road I will want to know exactly what happened the night of December 2 and how we managed the circumstances.

What happened, to go back to the beginning, is Kristie and I decided Max could eat a cashew. And why not? The kid has undergone a full battery of allergy tests. And while he has reactions to animals, plants (including trees and grass) and perhaps even just the outdoors, he has had no problems with food. He has a robust diet, including nut products such as peanut butter or, from the tree nut family, things like pesto sauce (which is made with pine nuts) and so on. He takes a tablespoon of Zyrtec and a prescription nose spray each day to keep his body in check in relation to unavoidable allergens. I simply did not see this being a problem. Of course, as with so many other things, I was wrong. When will I learn?

As I write this, I still do not have an update from the hospital. I'm operating under the "no news is good news" clause, but I still would like to have a bit of a hint what's happening. One of our friends has already offered to hang with Jack in the morning, which might be a great plan since Max and I will need rest, while Kristie, who might need rest most of all, will have to be alert enough to feed Charlie, who has no concept of putting his own needs behind those of others. Which is understandable.

And as soon as I finished that paragraph, I got a call from K telling me they are on the way home. Apparently the lengthy delay was not related to Max's condition, which never worsened, but attributed to the overall business of the pediatric ER wing, including at least one other child who seemed to be very ill. So we can count our particular blessings. K said at one point Max needed to use the bathroom and when he came back from that his full-body hive had begun to break down with color returning to at least parts of his body, so it seems we are heading exactly in the right direction.

Nothing more to add here tonight. I'm not feeling overly poetic or sanguine (whatever that means), but I sure do feel good knowing we've been down this road before and feeling like we took exactly the right steps to make sure Max got the care he needed and also realizing there are much greater problems many other people have faced today. If you're still reading by now, thank you so much for caring about us and our family. We love you too.

Officers deserve a better shake

Column originally published Nov. 29, 2011.

There's a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and a few folks in Streator seem determined to prove they know the difference.

In April, the Rev. John Schmidtke of First Baptist Church and about six other people started a group called Drug-Free Streator. The goal was to come up with a strategy to effectively reduce illegal drug traffic. And yes, that does sound like the job of police and county prosecutors. But in all of Schmidtke's written and verbal comments about his perception of "the flood of illegal drugs" in Streator, he's never come across as all that supportive of the law enforcement community.

Here are some excerpts from his column published March 27:

"Sometimes I think the police drive down the street with blinders on. ... I for one refuse to believe our drug problem can be so severe without some degree of complicity. ... We have a drug tsunami because we allow it. Or someone does. ...

"I would hate to think it would be bribes or corruption. I would like to not think that. ... But what about fear? Fear of retribution? A police officer's fear of getting no backup from the higher-ups? Fear of going out on a limb to get a bad guy, and then having your supervisor saw it off — with you on it. How about that?

"Why the fear? Why the hesitation? I don't know yet. But it's clear our police force has an unhealthy dose of both. It seems to me like the police get a lot more fear and hesitation from inside the police station than anything they face on the outside."

Two weeks later, he apologized if his "comments were taken as offensive," said offending was never his intent and noted he fully supports the police department. After all, what better way to show your support than to hint at incompetency and corruption in a public forum?

Continue reading "Officers deserve a better shake"

Wednesday night at Pops & K's

What's this? Photos that aren't even a week old? Shocking, I know...

Anyway, last week being Thanksgiving week and all, Aunt Kim was finally back in Illinois for the first time since July! This was super exciting for everyone, and only a tiny part of the reason was she brought an iPad and her Netflix account...

From Pops and K's

Kim and Micah flew into Chicago Monday. They took a bus to Rockford and spent the night with Micha's family. Then on Tuesday, Micah drove her to Libertyville. Although he had to head right back to Rockford (sad face), all of us (except for Matt) were in Libertyville when he and Kim arrived, so we did get to spend about 20 minutes catching up. As I wrote (I think) in July when they took the last train for the coast, we really like Micah and are sad he lives way the heck out there, too.

As Kim and Micah walked in the door, Charlie was demonstrating his newly-acquired crawling and standing skills (which he really, really developed at How's house over the weekend). He also found some time to sit by himself on the living room floor and play with toys, which is a pretty big improvement. I'm sure he's not going to behave well the next time we have to leave him there for an hour, but he is definitely making progress toward independence.

From Pops and K's

Jack had a half day of school that day, so I came and got him around lunchtime and brought him to work. Kristie brought the other boys down after Max got out of preschool. We ordered in dinner from the Silo in Lake Bluff and Uncle Matt got there right around 6:30. We enjoyed our dinner (the "so big" video from a few days ago came while everyone was finishing their meals) and then Jack, Max, Matt and Kim got in some serious hide and seek action, as well as some tickle time on the couch.

From Pops and K's

Jack spent the night at Pops & K's so he could maximize his Aunt Kim time. That included renting "Cars 2" from the iTunes store — and watching it four times. Also involved were staying up too late, the breakfast and lunch of Jack's choice and certainly other fun activities that made Jack pretty much the happiest 7-year-old on the block. After nearly 24 hours at Pops & K's, the rest of us showed up with the van Wednesday afternoon so we could head off to Fulton for the long weekend.

Along the way we decided, against all rational thought, to stop at a Red Robin in Naperville for lunch. But, much to our pleasant surprise, both older boys ordered (and ate, for the most part) food off the menu, Charlie was happy in the high chair (so long as he had kids' menus to shred) and Kristie and I were able to wolf down our chicken sandwiches before the entire thing devolved into madness. I only made four or five trips to the bathroom between Max and Charlie (and myself) and took in enough caffeine to stay alert for the remainder of the drive.

Sure, it was a bit more expensive than your average drive through, but the kids enjoyed the "special treat" aspect of the experience and it was a wonderful way to break up the drive and, in the midst of a lot of extended family events, connect as our nuclear family of five, which can be rare given our crazy schedule.

The International Banquet

On Tuesday, Nov. 15, Max's class took part in the preschool's annual International Banquet. Basically, every family brings a dish from their native country or a family favorite (we went with cornbread, since Max wanted to bring corn, and strawberries, since Max loves strawberries). Since he goes to school with kids whose parents came from Bangladesh, Pakistan, China, India, England and so on, there was quite the spread to choose from. A lot of it was quite good, despite us not being entirely sure what we were eating, and that was with the written descriptions. Anywho, before the food was the one-song "performance" of "This Land Is Your Land." If you recall from the video posted last week, Max is well aware of the words and motions to the song. But you wouldn't know it form watching the performance...



Here he is after the singing, trying to shrink into the crowd of girls.

From Hollands at Home 2011

And here's a shot I took of Max and Kristie smiling before lunch.

From Hollands at Home 2011

One last beach trip

On Nov. 12, a Saturday, Kristie decided the weather was right for one last trip to her new favorite place, Illinois Beach State Park. While we expected to see a few more people taking advantage of what might have been the last truly great weather Saturday of the year, we were again pretty much alone on the beach, which I guess is what we get when we go so close to sunset. It turned out to be fairly windy, but Kristie planned ahead by packing a kite. We have let the boys fly kites at our neighborhood park a few times, but they'd never seen a kite move in a lakefront breeze before. The smile plastered on Jack's face made the entire trip worthwhile. We might not be lucky enough to have the place to ourselves next spring, so this certainly was a trip for the memory book.

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

From Lake Michigan

Jack Cleans

When Jack found out we were hosting small group at our house and having one of the couples bring their girls over so Jack and Max would have some playmates for the evening, he actually got motivated to clean our basement. Here he is, the morning after he learned of our plan, with everything set up and ready to go.

From Hollands at Home 2011

Sure, he might be less "bisy" if he had spent more time cleaning and less time connecting the laptop to an auxiliary monitor and the TV so his music would be louder, but who am I to judge?

How big is Charlie?

Does today's date ring in your memory?

Column originally posted Nov. 22, 2011.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy would be 94 today.

Kennedy was 46 years and 177 days old when he was shot dead in Dallas 48 years ago today. Had nothing else claimed him, he would by now have surpassed Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan as former president with the longest life. Ford and Reagan were both 93 when they died in 2006 and 2004, respectively.

(If you're keeping score at home, Jimmy Carter and George H.W. Bush are both 87 and, from what I can tell, still going strong. Bill Clinton and George W. Bush are 65, Barack Obama turned 50 in August. The youngest former president at the time of his death was James Polk, who was not yet 54. Kennedy was 46 when he was assassinated; James Garfield was nearly 50 when he was killed.)

Most people playing "what if" in terms of Kennedy's death focus more so on him finishing out his first term and possibly being re-elected. It's understandable, given the significance of the historical events in the immediate and long-term aftermath of Kennedy's assassination. Expect to be overwhelmed by JFK-related nostalgia and analysis in two years as the 50th anniversary arrives.

Since there's so many unanswered question about how the nation and world might have been different had JFK lived and continued to serve, it's even harder to speculate on what kind of role he would have had in life beyond the Oval Office, especially for younger people.

I wasn't born until 1979, nearly 16 years after that fateful Dallas parade. Yet I find myself fascinated by dates of significance and anniversaries of national news events and wondering if others react in a similar fashion.

I'm fairly well convinced the vast majority of my peers aren't especially plugged in to history, at least when it comes to specific dates. Plenty of 20- and 30-somethings know to type a Facebook status about gratitude for those who serve in the military when Nov. 11 rolls around. But if you're looking for a similar sentiment on June 6 or Dec. 7, well, don't get your hopes up.

Continue reading "Does today's date ring in your memory?"

This Land Is Your Land

Max takes us through the "song" he "learned" for the international banquet at preschool. (And yes, that's a real thing we went to last week.)

Zoo visit

Following the theme of "last of the year," the Sunday after our park outing we made what probably is our last trip to Brookfield Zoo for 2011... unless, of course, we are either insane enough — or blessed with good enough weather — to get down there to witness the holiday lights.

For this trip, we made it a point to hit both the dolphin show (which I hadn't seen) and the family play zoo (which no one had been to), both of which are benefits of our membership package. Both were a big hit, and we ended up have a really nice outing. I lost track of how many times we've been this year, but we've certainly gotten our money's worth out of the (very affordable) family pass option, especially considering we don't have to renew until next May. And the place is large enough, and our boys' attention span long enough, that we can enjoy different parts each time we go so it never feels routine enough to be boring.

With that said, on to the photos!

Dolphin show! From Brookfield Zoo

Digging the finned action. From Brookfield Zoo

Hanging out int he family play zoo. From Brookfield Zoo

Our little botanist. From Brookfield Zoo

Looking for a plant to spray. From Brookfield Zoo

Watching a lizard shed its skin. From Brookfield Zoo

Trip to the park

After Leaf Day ended, Jack, Max and I took advantage of some spectacular fall weather for what may have been our last outing to the neighborhood park for the calendar year. There's not much to say about our trip other than Jack and Max had the park to themselves (as per usual) and took full advantage of the opportunity to run wild, scream like banshees and essentially act like boys. It was a good afternoon.

Ultra-modern communication. From Hollands at Home 2011

Wonderful autumn sunshine. From Hollands at Home 2011

Jack had a great day outside. From Hollands at Home 2011

Watching his big brother. From Hollands at Home 2011

Ready to race up the slide. From Hollands at Home 2011

We have a winner. From Hollands at Home 2011

Almost there... From Hollands at Home 2011

Leaf Day

Two Saturdays ago was Leaf Day at the Holland house. Kristie and Charlie had a baby shower to attend, while Max and Jack were enlisted to help me rake up all the leaves in the backyard and deposit them right at the foot of our slide. Since the playset was new to us this spring, this was the first time the boys had a chance to get serious about autumnal mayhem to this degree. And they certainly were willing participants.

The pile, before the madness. From Hollands at Home 2011

Max takes the first turn while Jack documents. From Hollands at Home 2011

As you can see from the photo above, Jack also came outside with a camera and tried to capture the scene from his own unique perspective, including recording two videos, one while sliding into the pile and a second while jumping. I wanted to get mad, but I was pretty impressed at his commitment to documenting the experience. After all, he's just following my example, right?

Monkey see, monkey do. From Hollands at Home 2011

Fearless. From Hollands at Home 2011

My little documentarian. From Hollands at Home 2011

 

Did I mention Max is fearless? From Hollands at Home 2011

One happy kid. From Hollands at Home 2011

Not quite as fearless, but still adventurous. From Hollands at Home 2011

After the fun

The night of Sunday, Oct. 30, after all the trick-or-treat excitement, Kristie was getting Jack and Max ready for bed while Charlie and I hung out downstairs. The little guy wasn't as worn out as his big brothers, so I had the chance to snap a couple of photos of our happy little guy.

From Hollands at Home 2011

From Hollands at Home 2011

From Hollands at Home 2011

Halloween

And now, more than two weeks later, the rest of our photos from Halloween weekend.

Saturday morning was the costume party at Jack's bowling league. Once again, his homemade, Mario-themed costume won a prize — a $5 gift card for the bowling alley. I'm sure Kristie spent more on material and in time than $5, but it is nice to feel rewarded.

From Hollands at Home 2011

Saturday afternoon was the annual neighborhood fall festival. This event features caramel apples, free hot chocolate (with marshmallows, which means Max just had a cup of marshmallows), a prize raffle (everyone wearing a costume gets on entry ticket), a chili buffet (I'm not clear if it was a contest) and a petting zoo. This was Max's first year to attend and Jack's second. Charlie napped at home. But before we left, Kristie took these pictures:

From Hollands at Home 2011

From Hollands at Home 2011

At the park, I got these pictures of Max trying to enjoy the petting zoo. He is really only interested in animals much smaller than he is. Hence, the goat was intimidating (the feeling was mutual) but the bunny was endearing. The best part of the petting zoo, for me, was the 40-ish guy who, in all seriousness, asked the kid running it to identify animals for him. And answers like, "Well, those are goats" and "That's a donkey" were completely satisfying, as if this otherwise normal adult had never seen such exotic creatures.

From Hollands at Home 2011

From Hollands at Home 2011

Sunday morning was church, a costume-free event. Since our village prefers weekend trick-or-treating, the event was 2 to 6 Sunday afternoon. With rain in the forecast and good behavior at a premium, we got out the door almost at 2 p.m. I posted the photo of all three boys earlier, but there were others.

For starters, we have Charlie modeling the costume all Holland babies wear — Winnie the Pooh.

From Hollands at Home 2011

As you can see, he was not pleased with this circumstance. In retrospect, it really wasn't an objection to the costume so much as you average diaper/clothing change displeasure. Once we got outside and plopped him in the stroller, the costume was of little consequence.

From Hollands at Home 2011

Charlie in the stroller lasted about as long as it took us to hit most of the houses on our block. Before too long he began to fuss, so I put him in the carrier. Eventually, Max ended up in and out of the stroller, darting out as soon as we got in proximity of anyone appearing to be passing out candy. Kristie said this next shot went over well amongst the online babywearing community, which I am told is a real thing.

From Hollands at Home 2011

Here's a token shot of a trick-or-treat mission in action. The boys were very well behaved this year. Not everyone could tell Jack was Toad (amazingly, not everyone plays Mario games), but people gave nice compliments nonetheless. Jack was pretty good about accepting candy he doesn't care to eat, and Max was pretty good about only taking the right amount. We live in a very generous neighborhood that is pretty much tailor-made for this very event, and I'm pretty sure a fifth-grade Jack or Max will come home with enough candy to stock a bomb shelter.

From Hollands at Home 2011

We got tired about the same time the wind picked up and the first hint of rain threatened. So we headed quickly home. Jack and I went through the candy stashes and found everything no one wanted. This was something of a tall order given the parental appetite and Max's growing understanding of the "no, MY candy!" concept. But we did come up with enough to fill a bowl to give to the kids who came by the house. It was especially rewarding to see Jack genuinely interested in giving after 90 minutes of receiving, and I think there was some honesty to the sentiment, not just a desire to unload the crap no one here wanted to eat. We ran out shortly before the rain really arrived, so all in all it was pretty excellent timing.

From Hollands at Home 2011

Since Pops & K were in California at the time, we did not trick-or-treat in Libertyville the next afternoon. No worries, though, because after school parties for each boy, plus bowling, plus the fall festival plus regular old Gurnee trick-or-treating, it was time to give the costumes a rest and get ready to welcome November. I can't help but wonder what next year will bring with an almost 21-month-old Charlie, but I am looking forward to stealing his chocolate.